Tomorrow is the Rapture. Apparently.
Atheists across America are planning ‘back-pedalling’ parties for when the Rapture doesn’t happen. I’m not sure how many of you remember your scripture but technically the rapture will happen and about 200 million people will go straight to heaven. For the next 6 months there will be war and turmoil across the globe.
However, in Islam, once we go to Paradise, we are supposed to get 72 Virgins to accompany us. Along with 80,000 servants. I hope they happen n the rapture but I am willing to exchange 3 of my 72 virgins to ensure that the war and turmoil bit doesn’t happen. To be honest, I’ll throw in the 80,000 servants as well because the management and organisation of said 80,000 servants is even beyond my project management capabilities.
In any case, I have arranged to have a nice lie in whilst listening to some appropriate music (Black Sabbath, Slayer etc) and then will probably do a little light shopping before seeing the Antichrist himself (Daniel Kitson – aptly described of looking like he smells of shed and wet dog).
I hope you all have a nice weekend that is uninterrupted by any Raptures, Armageddons or Ragnaroks.