I will give you three of my seventy-two virgins if you can fix this…


Tomorrow is the Rapture. Apparently.

Atheists across America are planning ‘back-pedalling’ parties for when the Rapture doesn’t happen. I’m not sure how many of you remember your scripture but technically the rapture will happen and about 200 million people will go straight to heaven. For the next 6 months there will be war and turmoil across the globe.

However, in Islam, once we go to Paradise, we are supposed to get 72 Virgins to accompany us. Along with 80,000 servants. I hope they happen n the rapture but I am willing to exchange 3 of my 72 virgins to ensure that the war and turmoil bit doesn’t happen. To be honest, I’ll throw in the 80,000 servants as well because the management and organisation of said 80,000 servants is even beyond my project management capabilities.

In any case, I have arranged to have a nice lie in whilst listening to some appropriate music (Black Sabbath, Slayer etc) and then will probably do a little light shopping before seeing the Antichrist himself (Daniel Kitson – aptly described of looking like he smells of shed and wet dog).

I hope you all have a nice weekend that is uninterrupted by any Raptures, Armageddons or Ragnaroks.

2 thoughts on “I will give you three of my seventy-two virgins if you can fix this…

  1. I hear you. I’m 30 this year, and know *nothing* about perfumes. I use Marc Jacobs ‘Cucumber’ because I smelt it on a friend years ago & fell in love with it; I loathe smelling like flowers or fruit, so I didn’t use anything before that.

    I’ve never heard of ‘base notes’. :o\

    • I am not keen on flowers (except roses) and why wear fruit? I am not Carmen Miranda!
      I read this on Wikipedia but I am no closer to knowing what it means
      Perfume is described in a musical metaphor as having three sets of notes, making the harmonious scent accord. The notes unfold over time, with the immediate impression of the top note leading to the deeper middle notes, and the base notes gradually appearing as the final stage. These notes are created carefully with knowledge of the evaporation process of the perfume.

      Top notes: The scents that are perceived immediately on application of a perfume. Top notes consist of small, light molecules that evaporate quickly. They form a person’s initial impression of a perfume and thus are very important in the selling of a perfume. Also called the head notes.
      Middle notes: The scent of a perfume that emerges just prior to when the top notes dissipate. The middle note compounds form the “heart” or main body of a perfume and act to mask the often unpleasant initial impression of base notes, which become more pleasant with time. They are also called the heart notes.
      Base notes: The scent of a perfume that appears close to the departure of the middle notes. The base and middle notes together are the main theme of a perfume. Base notes bring depth and solidity to a perfume. Compounds of this class of scents are typically rich and “deep” and are usually not perceived until 30 minutes after application.

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