I am now taking 5 HTP and Rhodiola in the effort to sort out my brain chemistry. I am definitely having a proper low and I really don’t want to go back on the anti-depressants.

5-Hydroxytryptophan (5-HTP) is an amino acid that is the intermediate step between tryptophan and the important brain chemical serotonin. There is a massive amount of evidence that suggests that low serotonin levels are a common consequence of modern living. The lifestyle and dietary practices of many people living in this stress-filled era results in lowered levels of serotonin within the brain. As a result, many people are overweight, crave sugar and other carbohydrates, experience bouts of depression, get frequent headaches, and have vague muscle aches and pain. All of these maladies are correctable by raising brain serotonin levels.

Rhodiola Rosea optimises the levels of serotonin and dopamine in your body, meaning reduced stress levels and fatigue… as well as increased mental and physical performance.

Apparently they work really well together, so I’m going to give them 2 weeks and if I still feel rubbish, I’m going back to the doc.

I am hoping that they will help me get into working properly and not struggling so much with the general exhaustion and strain of working full time again (which really is the first time in a year) and generally getting back to normal. Or as normal as I get. And I would really like to stop feeling a bit numb about everything and that anything is something to be gotten thru rather than something to be enjoyed. Which is ridiculous because I do things that I like doing – cycling to work, seeing friends, cooking etc – I just feel irritated and annoyed that I have to do them and would prefer to stay in bed, hiding in my room. Or spending time having a fit of tears in Temple Meads station (friday)

I can’t wait for payday. I have about £30 in my account to last me until then. Which could be a problem. FEH.